Thou shalt return the cooler.
It has been three summers, Gary. Bubba sees all.
The Ten-ish Commandments
Carved by Bubba himself into two slightly warped pieces of plywood, which he then used to level the porch swing.
Thou shalt not touch another's thermostat.
If you are cold, there is a blanket. If you are hot, there is a porch.
Thou shalt wave back.
When a stranger waves from a passing truck, you raise at least two fingers off the steering wheel.
Thou shalt not spoil the ending.
Not the game, not the show, not the season finale. Bubba waited six months for that one.
Honor thy grill master.
Offer no advice unless it is asked for. It will not be asked for.
Thou shalt bring enough for everybody.
Or at minimum, enough that nobody notices you didn't.
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's riding mower.
Admire it, yes. Ask to take it for a spin, sure. But covet? No.
Remember the Saturday, and keep it lazy.
Chores may be deferred until Sunday afternoon, or indefinitely.
Thou shalt help thy friend move.
Pizza and beverages shall be provided. Heavy couches shall be lifted with the legs.
Thou shalt not take thyself too seriously.
This one's the big one. Bubba would underline it if plywood allowed.
Bonus: Thou shalt reply to the group chat.
A thumbs-up counts. Bubba is merciful.
Broke a commandment?
Relax. Bubba offers full forgiveness in exchange for one (1) sincere apology and a plate of cookies left on the Temple porch. Store-bought is fine. Bubba doesn't judge.
Ready to follow (most of) the rules?
Nobody's perfect. That's why the Temple has a 'Close Enough' policy.